If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize