Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
