does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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