I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
