He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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