I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
