Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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