Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
