Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
