I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
