just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
