Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
