The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
