is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
