and next time when you feel me up, do it right
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
