You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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