That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
