just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
