dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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