Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
