i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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