He disabled his match.com account in front of me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
