wat bout pragnant strippers??
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
