Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You can't motorboat a personality
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
