Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
