what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's the barista slut.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
