So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
