Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
