I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
