I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
