i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
