five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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