well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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