She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I believe in your delicious
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
