yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
