you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
