I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
