They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
