You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
