Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
