i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
