Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
