i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
