she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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