i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
