HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
