Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
