Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
