did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
