One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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