I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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