Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
