She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
