Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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