Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
