On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
