why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
