But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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