Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
