ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
